Talk talk talk. Shut up and do something

Last evening at albb, for the first time in over two years, I gave survey presentation of my work. Days prior, I went through old directories and dv tapes scrounging for higher resolution images. I found many things I had thought long lost (particularly in DV) and could not for the life of me find recent things I knew I had.
Yesterday's presentation covered a span of nearly 7 years of work beginning with my days as an art student until now. I arranged the work mostly through form: Art Performance, Installation Art, Art Interventions, Media Art and Video, Painting and Photography, and Shared Learning (teaching positions, lectures, grants and alternative/group/community projects). I rushed through the presentation and was told that I wasn't loud enough. I hate doing these things on PowerPoint (in spite of having discovered how to extend the desktop so as to simultaneously present the slideshow through the projector and the presenation file itself on the laptop screen).
THE EUNICH
I realized that much of the rawness and experimental power that used to exist in my work is now missing. It's not only about getting naked (for those of you at the presentation); its about the way I feel about doing things now. Apparently in a trade-off, the physical or emotional qualities that used to identify my work have increasingly been replaced by intellectual vapor. Connecting my work to issues without rechanneling the energy back into the body has left my work souless. People would "hmm" and "ah, i see" rather than "damn!" To be honest, I don't really enjoy this transformation, which was apparent to me after the talk. I want to get down. I want to howl and destroy things again. I want to perform like an epileptic with tourette syndrome on crack, again. Now, I just feel like art pussy. Some changes are in order. Time to grow some.

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